Wonder and Humility vs. Entitlement - where did we go wrong?
I am constantly amazed at how many times a day I run into others who feel entitled to do whatever they want - run red lights, turn left from the right-hand lane, brush their hair while talking on the phone while driving a Hummer, yelling at someone who mildly inconvenienced them, or whatever.
I watched a woman going down the road about two weeks ago in 40MPH traffic with her phone in her right hand and a cup of steaming goodness in her left hand, while she also used the left to steer (one finger!) She was doing about 30 in the left lane, directly in front of my new car. While I watched, with no turn signal and without looking in her mirrors AT ALL, she cut over into the right lane, cutting off someone who was going the same speed as the rest of traffic. He smashed into her back end, at which time she spilled her coffee (duh!). When she finally stopped, she got out of her car AND SHE BLESSED HIM OUT! I stayed for the police and told them exactly what happened.
How did we, as a society, get to a point where we no longer feel a sense of responsibility and humility, much less wonder and gratefulness?
MLB posted a great, short video on his site yesterday with Conan O'Brien hosting the comedian Louis CK. Now, Louis is usually fairly crude in his standup. However, when on TV, he sits, so he keeps it relatively clean. Louis expounds about the lack of wonder we feel these days, and relates it to what things were like when he was younger. And it hit home for me.
So, please, click here* and watch the video. It's just a few minutes long. Then think about what he is saying. Apply it to your life. You might find that doing so makes you happier. A sense of wonder is what we had when we were kids, and it made life interesting and much more fun than it has been since we lost it. I know that not all of you lost it. I still have it for the most part, and, when life is tough for me, that sense keeps me going. There's just so much more stuff out there that is so cool that I haven't seen or thought about, that when I come across it, I get to feel a little giddy again. Even when I'm just flying in a plane, which I get to do Thursday, on my way to professing my thankfulness for it all. "Sitting in a chair...in the SKY!"
Visit my web site - www.plaitsolutions.com.
* - I had to change this link (12.31.2008) because NBC Universal yanked it off of YouTube do to proprietary rights. I am trying to find out how I can acquire the right to show it here legally. Anyway, I searched the web and found it on (usually barefoot) meg's site. I've linked to it there, but that link may disappear, too. Thanks, UBMeg! Maybe my nine readers will discover your site through this link!
That is so dead on! I drove my wife and daughter to the airport so we could put my daughter on a flight to Pensacola and my wife was going to Central America. I went past security and escorted them to the gate where my daughter was catching her flight. On this particular day the Pensacola flight was leaving out of the E Concourse where most of the international flights depart. I was in awe because I remember the excitement 17 years ago when my wife and I would take a trip using our flight passes to somewhere. We didn't care if her Delta employee status would get us into first class, we were excited for the experience to travel on an airplane--period! I saw a pilot standing in line with his wife in the food court knowing she was going with him on his flight to some adventurous foreign destination. Your blog triggered my thoughts about how I felt when I saw this older couple and how I regretted not getting my passport, yet. I think about how many times I have wasted precious days with my family seeking the almighty dollar and how I am never satisfied with how much I make. How this relates to your story is that we seem to look for external satisfaction from what should be an internal quest of self-fulfillment. The happiest expeiences in my life--getting married, the birth of daughter, our honeymoon trip to SanFrancisco, etc.--never depended on external stimulation (money) but was the internal wonderment of the world and experiences viewed through the eyes of a child. There is hope, though, because while we were at the gate I was notified that my daughter would get a seat in first class. She walks with my wife halfway down the jetway (Linda, my wife, was in her Delta uniform)and she comes back to the gate agent and asks if she can give up her seat. My daughter told the gate agent that she knew the other unaccompanied minor was nervous about her flight and she wanted to ride in coach, instead, so she could be a "big sister" to the younger girl and ease her anxiety. You see the wonder of flying and not which row she sat in was what mattered most to my daughter. I guess I learned something today that goes back to the moral of your story...
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William -
That's a great story, and I think those are the most words I've ever heard (or read) you put together at one time! Thanks for sharing it!
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Great blog post.
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Tanks!
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Don't get me started on peoples behaviour in traffic, you might just never get rid of me...
You drive behind someone that suddenly brake for no apparent reason, when you realise that they are going to make a turn and halfway through the turn they finally use the turn signal...
Aaaaaarrrghh... WE ALREADY KNOW YOU ARE TURNING... it would have been nice to know your intention before you started braking you.. you.. Daft Tool!
I know I too make mistakes once in a while, but at least I try to give my driving 100% of my attention and stick with the traffic code. I happen to know the rules very well, as I always make a point of reading them when I move to a new country or a new state in Australia.
Also: People who drive slower than me are idiots and those who drive faster are maniacs.
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Thanks for stopping by, Thomas!
Everything you say is what we all experience on the road in the US, too.
And I totally agree with your last comment. Definitely ANYONE driving faster than me is a maniac!
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I think it's very cool you stayed to give the cops the real story. She doesn't sound like the kind of person who learns from mistakes, but maybe when the cops find her to blame, a little reality will sink in.
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Maybe. I'm afraid my faith in some forms of humanity has waned.
I stayed because she was a great looking blonde in her 30s (you haven't read what I'm going to say next, so don't condemn me yet, OK?) and I was afraid if the best witness to the event didn't stay, there was some chance the other guy would have gotten railroaded. In the state of Georgia, if you rear-end someone, you are to blame under almost all circumstances. However, that guy never had a chance in the accident, so I wanted to make sure he had a chance with the police.
A few years ago I was rear-ended in North Carolina by a man who didn't speak English, was trying to get his daughter to her job, and had just gotten auto insurance. The weather was rainy and I was on the backside of a hill, stopped in the middle of the road by someone turning left in front of me. He slid into my car, but he never had any hope of avoiding the accident.
Yes, he should have been a bit more careful, but this was a true accident and I really hated that he would probably lose his license and maybe his insurance. So I spoke on his behalf to the police officer who wrote up the report.
I don't know that I did that man any good, but I had to try.
An aside: Interestingly enough, I remember every detail of the 4.1654 seconds before he hit my car. In my car, there was the young daughter of a friend in the back seat and her brother in the front. I remember telling them to brace for a collision (they were both seat belted, as was I. I watched the man's face in the car behind me as he saw my car, hit the brakes, and realized he was without a prayer of stopping in time. I even had the presence of mind to take my foot off the brake just before the impact. I believe that saved him from damaging his car beyond use.
When we use it, the human brain is an amazing thing!
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Sid:
You are SO right! Our society has declines to the lowest level of common courtesy and ignorance. Rudeness prevails, and entitlement is in. It cuts across most all generational lines now--even people my age who went to school in the 50's and 60's--and it just gets worse. I really think the only way to cure this is for a depression to hit where we all have to unite together to survive and where we can all learn to value other people and not put ourselves first. Love your website!
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Hi, Jim! Thanks for visiting my site!
It would be wonderful if some non-violent personal revolution occured, butI guess it's not likely (although I DO hold out hope for it).
BTW, if you are the Jim Carroll I know, two things:
1. Thanks for the referral. She is a nice woman and I enjoyed meeting her and working on her PC.
2. What are you doing up SO early in the morning?? (I'm going to sit in a chair... IN THE SKY!! What's your excuse?)
I may use that wonderful expression every time I fly from now on!
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Thanks for making sure I didn't miss this video, Sid...and I confess to being old enough to remember disliking phone numbers with 9's and 0's in them! The message of that rant is one I strive to live daily...don't take the good stuff for granted, and don't forget the sense of wonder that lives in the three-year-old inside of you. Take it out and play with it as often as possible, and use that sense of wonder as your lens on the world.
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